


Away from Everyone

by Jase



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Husbands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-01-23 19:09:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21325186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jase/pseuds/Jase
Summary: Aaron has realized that his first visit to Robert in prison was his last.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 75
Kudos: 212





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this little fic will be canon divergent. It takes place right after Monday's terrible episode where Aaron took the rings off and said "I'm done", only in this, that scene took place in a other location...cos you know, angst!

**AARON**

* * *

Regret, anger, despair. Regret, anger, despair, regret, anger, despair. The emotions keeps running through him like channels flip on the telly when he's bored, and trying to find something to watch. It's a quick succession, from one emotion to the other. Each one getting stronger as the minutes turn to hours. He's wet, cold, and covered in mud, but none of it matters as he struggles on his knees. They have to there, they have to. He doesn't know what he'll do if he can't find them. It's all he has now, all he had. Try as he might,.it's only getting harder, he's been at this for hours, and vision has blurred, he can't stop the tears, no matter how much he wipes at his eyes.

"Come on...please." He he cried as he continued to search, all the while remembering what got him to this point in the first place. "Please."

He remembers it all too well. He'd been standing at the bridge, their bridge, trying to wrap his head around it all, around what Robert had done, and then he'd heard his mother's voice telling him how everything was Robert's fault. He had been angry, confused, and not for the first time, he'd let her words get to him. Between the anguish and anger, her words had taken root. They'd eaten through him, festered,.and grown into something more..

Liv had finally found him, she had been searching for him ever since Aaron walked out of their home in tears, ever since the realization of what Robert had done hit him. Wise beyond her years, she tried to calm him down, tried to get him to see that Robert loves him, but he'd had enough. Love was a mug's game. He felt abandoned, and his mum's words had really done a number on him.

"I'm done." The words slipped past his lips as he pulled the rings from his fingers, and with all his anger, he threw them as hard as he could from the bridge, and walked away.

"Aaron!" Liv cried behind him.

A dream, a nightmare, a memory really, had woken him in the early morning. A tight embrace squeezing tightly around him, the feeling so familiar, it felt like home, had taken him back to just a few days before. It was then he saw him. He saw how broken he was. He saw right through the brave face Robert was trying to out on for him. He saw just how much he was struggling. Then he remembered further back, to when he had been in, to what prison had done to him, and just like that he awoke. A pit in his stomach as he came to his senses, as he realized what he had done.

"No, no, no, no." He cried as he quickly dressed himself before running out of his home, their home. He had to get them back, the rings. They were a symbol of their love. They were all he had left now.

And now, now he squinted, tears breaking free from the corners of his eyes, as the sun began to rise. The bright light of the morning signalling just how long he'd been out there. Nothing. Nothing is what he felt as he came to a realization that he had fucked up. The rings were gone. He would never find them again.

~~~~~~

"Aaron!" Liv's voice broke as she shouted to him. She had just come down the stairs to find Aaron in a state, wet, covered in mud, and crying at the kitchen table. "What's happened?"

"I can't find them." He cried. "They're gone." His own voice broke. He'd been doing everything he could to keep it together in front of his family, pretending he was handling it, pretending he was coping. Only he couldn't pretend anymore. Pretending was no longer an option. "They're gone."

Liv took a deep breath, relief washing over her, she didn't think she could handle yet another blowback. She reached into her pocket with a sad smile on her face, and opened her palm to reveal what Aaron had so desperately been searching for. "I couldn't just leave them there, could I?"

Aaron took the rings from her palm and quickly wrapped his arms around her as he broke down. He let it all out, he cried in a way he had never done in front of her, overwhelmed with something he couldn't even describe. "They're all I have now." His voice was raw.

"He loves you, you know." She said as she squeezed her arms around him.

"Don't, Liv." He didn't really want to hear it. It hurt too much to even think about him. "He wouldn't have done what he did…"

"Don't be daft." She cut him off. "It's exactly why he did it." She paused for a moment. "I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you, there's nothing Rob wouldn't do for you."

"Then why'd he give up on us."

"Maybe it's not so simple. I mean, look at ya." She said as she pulled back from their embrace. "He's got life, Aaron. He turned himself in cos he didn't want you to lose yours, he didn't want you to miss out on everything. He doesn't want you wasting your life just waiting around for him...you know, I remember how hard it was on him back when you were in. He gave up everything. All he did was work and wait around for the two minute phone call he would get, and you were only there for months. He doesn't want that for you, not for it to be your life."

"He doesn't get to make that choice for me."

"It's not fair, I get it, but he sacrificed everything for you. Don't let it be for nothing. Live your life Aaron, do what he wanted for you, so that when he gets out, cos he _ will _ get out, you'll have loads of stories to tell him. Just because he wants you to live a life, doesn't mean it has to be one where you forget him, one where you don't pick up right where you left off."

She still amazed him. Everyday she amazed him, but never had she done so like at the moment. If he had only been as wise at his age. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and pulled back to wipe away at his eyes. "I'll never forget him, don't think I could even if I wanted to."

"Then don't." She wiped away at her own eyes.

He couldn't. He wouldn't. Robert was everything. He may be out of reach for now, but one day he won't, and when that day comes, he'll be waiting. He'll be waiting with a lifetime that they can catch up on. Him and Robert, for the rest of their lives.

One day.


	2. Chapter 2

**ROBERT**

Robert's stomach churned, it did a flip like it hadn't in so long, at least not in a way that wasn't brought on by the shitty prison food he'd been eating for the past three years. This feeling, it almost felt new, it felt long forgotten. He fiddled with the loose strings on the edges of his sleeves, part of him anxious, part of him quickly regretted what he had done. He had put a moratorium on visits the same night he had been transferred away from home. It was the only choice to make. He had already ruined his family's life, their future, everything, he wasn't about to have them put their lives on hold for him. He wasn't worth it. He never had been. He wouldn't have Aaron put his life on hold for him, living for the few visits they'd get. It wasn't fair. Aaron deserved better,

He nearly shot up his chair in the visiting area to go back, sure he had made a mistake in allowing a visitor, what if it was Aaron? It's not like it would be the first time Aaron had tried to be sneaky. For the first several months Aaron tried and tried again. Putting in a request as his husband, as his father Jack, as his brother Andy. He scoffed as he thought of that last name. Aaron thinking he would allow the visit thinking it was actually Andy. Shortly before the end of that first year, the requests had stopped altogether. He remembered the ache in his chest, the emptiness, when it happened, he had succeeded in what he had planned. He figured that the only way for Aaron to make it through it all, would be for him to hate him. Barring any contact from his family had only been the first step, but the divorce papers had been the nail in the coffin, he remembered how quickly they came back fully signed, and worst of all he remembers the note attached to them. Fuck you, Robert.

No way this would be Aaron, it had been so long, and hopefully Aaron had done exactly what he had hoped. 

He quickly stands when he sees the familiar face and tears quickly pool in his eyes, and he smiles as he thinks back. The name had been all too familiar, he never forgot it, and no one else knew about it. When he received the request for a visitation from his brother Bombasto Thunderhammer, he knew it had to be him. No one else knew about that name, yeah it had been a joke, but no one other than Adny knew about it. It had to be, "Andy." His voice broke as Andy pulled him into a hug.

"Rob." Andy spoke as he squeezed him tightly. And fuck, he'd almost forgotten what his voice sounded like.

"Are you mad?" His reaction quickly changed to one of fear. What if they catch him?

"It's okay, brother." Andy responded as if having read his mind. "Everything's okay." He said as he nodded to their seats. "It's a long story, and we don't have a lot of time, so I just want to know what the fuck you're doing, Rob?"

Andy's voice had turned stern from the warm embracing one he'd only had second new ago. He looked deep into Robert's eyes, a look similar to the unapproving one he used to give him all the time what felt like ages ago.

*I…"

"Why didn't you fight, Robert? Why aren't you fighting now?" He asked with worry in his eyes, worry for the brother that he'd always loved.

Robert swallowed past the lump on his throat and almost leaned back in his chair. "How much time do you have?"

He could feel the ache in his chest, it flared anew, as he recounted everything to his brother. The reason he was in there and all the events that had led to it. Through it all, all he could think about was what he left behind, and how it had destroyed him.

"And she...she just let you go down like that?" The disgust in his voice was obvious. Famy had meant everything to Andy. It always had, specifically when it came to the one that took him in, the one that gave him a real family.

"It's not like that."

"Don't, Rob. Don't defend her...this...even dad wouldn't have done that to ya."

"It's not her fault, Andy. It's not fair…"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is what we do now."

"What you on about?" Robert asked as confusion took him over.

"You're mad if you think I'm going to just leave ya here like this."

"You what?"

"I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you out, Rob."

Robert's knee jerk reaction was to scoff. As if Andy had any control in this. "There's nothing you can do, Andy. This is it for me."

"You're right about one thing, Rob."

"And what's that, dear brother?"

"There's nothing I can do about it." Andy replied as he stood from his seat just in time for the guards to start heading the visitors out. "But I know someone who can help."

"And who could possibly help me out of this?"

He smirked. "My solicitor."

Part of Robert wanted to laugh, he knew Andy was living in a dream world if he thought he could possibly do anything for him. "Your solicitor?" He scoffed. "I doubt you can afford one that could even get an appeal of any kind rolling for me."

"Oh, she's definitely expensive, and there's a reason for that."

"And just how on Earth do you think I can pay for that? I'm not quite rolling in it here, you know?"

"Don't worry about money. She'll do it for free."

"And why would she do that if she's as good as you say."

"Oh trust me, she's good. She solved my problem without even breaking a sweat, and she'll do it cos that's what family does."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robert questioned, his brows scrunching into further confusion.

"She's my wife." Andy smiled in return. "We'll be in touch."

~~~~~~~

Andy was mad if he thought he could fix this, fix anything really. There was nothing to fix, nothing to save, Robert knew that. Three years with nothing or no one had taught him that. This was it for him, he would spend the next eleven trapped here in this prison, if he could even last that long. There were plenty of people that wanted him gone, one being himself. He'd barely made it past the first year when he made the first attempt at his life. He had nothing left to live for. He had slit his wrists in the showers using a shiv he'd fashioned out of a toothbrush, he'd let go of everything, closed his eyes and tried to picture the only thing that ever made him happy.

"Lights out." The booming voice reverberated through the corridors, pulling him from his thoughts.

He swallowed hard as he closed his eyes, and saw a glimpse of that same happiness he tried to picture during that moment. An ocean blue, crystal clear, followed by a smile that only shined for him. God, he missed him. He'd give.anything just to hold him one last time.

"You have to fight, Robert." He remembered Andy's last words before he left. He never thought he'd see Andy again, yet there he had been. A free man, with nothing to run from.

Maybe Andy was right. Maybe he should. The thought was like a dream in of its own. A dream that would hurt too much to lose. Then again. What did he have to lose?

"You have to fight, Robert." He repeated to himself. "You have to fight."


	3. Chapter 3

** AARON**

It was cold outside, freezing actually, or at least it was supposed to be. Aaron didn't feel it though, he didn't feel much of anything, not for a while now. He had simply been carrying on through the motions, a shell of a man, a husk of who he used to be. He'd spent so long trying to wrap his head around things, how everything had gone so wrong, and he'd spent so long trying to hit the person responsible. He clenched his fists and looked up into the moonlit sky, a flurry of snowflakes still gently falling, and he took a deep breath as he counted to ten. It's something he found himself doing a lot of lately. Everytime he felt like things were getting too much, Everytime he felt he was about to spill over, he stopped, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. It seemed to be the only thing that worked. Maybe it wasn't that he took the time to push everything down, or even the time he gave himself away from everything, maybe it was what had flashed in his head as he did so. Emily had been on him for weeks about trying exercise when he first went back to counseling.

Robert cutting all contact with everyone drove him over the edge. He was in a constant panic over him. Always worrying for the worst. What if something had happened to him? What if he had been hurt? What ifs constantly running through his head. Eventually, Emily wore him down, got him to do the exercise.

"Remove yourself from what's going on." She had instructed him. "Picture the safest place you can, somewhere that makes you feel warm and happy, take a deep breath, and count to ten."

It had worked. For the first time in weeks, he had been able to calm himself. It all came down to what he pictured though. Ironically it had been the same thing that had him in such a mess. The same person. As he counted to ten, he pictured himself in bed with his husband. Robert asleep on his stomach, Aaron with his chin resting on Robert's shoulder, and his finger gingerly running along his back. As he said the numbers aloud he pictured himself counting the freckles on Robert's back, the same way he used to.

"It's freezing out here." Belle's voice pulled Aaron from his thoughts as she looped her arm through his, leaning her head on his shoulder. "How's Liv doing?" She asked.

"Good, I guess. Not that she's gotten any chattier than before. Kind of wants to just do her own thing these days, been talking about studying abroad." He raised his brows as he tried to smile. People don't stay with him after all. Eventually they all leave him. 

"Tea is ready." She gave him a sad smile seeing through the facade, they know each other well enough, the struggles with mental health always had been a bond between them. It's part of the reason why she had always been soft on him and him her. Their bond had not been too different from what he had with his sister Liv, and she'd always been supportive of him. When everyone kept pushing him to move on, she'd spend time with him sharing stories of Robert. Some stories even he hadn't even heard. It appears that somewhere between all the crazy, Robert had managed to wedge himself nicely in with some of his family, or at least the ones he knew were special to Aaron. "Come on." She nodded her head towards the door and lead him back in.

"About time." Chas' voice was like a screech as she beamed a smile. "Here, why don't you take your little sister for a while." She said as she held Eve towards him. He hesitated for a moment but took her into his arms and took a seat on the sofa as everyone else began to sit around the dining table. All he could do was roll his eyes as he heard the commotion. This. Everyone. Fuck how he hated being around people, let alone family, but it was Christmas after all. A Dingle Christmas no less.

The sound of silverware filled the air, laughter poured out of everyone, yet he couldn't help but feel the eyes that were burning the back of his head. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and continued to sway Eve in his arms. Eve, his other sister, the one he had been finding so hard to connect to. He couldn't help it. He knew he loved her deep down. He had to. Only he didn't feel it. Just like he didn't feel much of anything. How could he? 

"You could try and put on a happy face for your mum." Paddy's voice irked him. He took a seat in Zak's chair across from him. "I can take her, you go and have something to eat, keep your mum some company."

"S'okay." He replied. "Not hungry." There was no attitude in him. There hadn't been one in so long. He'd been bottling it all. Emily would shake her fist at him if she saw.

"Aaron, tonight's supposed to be a happy night." There was almost a hint of sympathy in his voice. "Can you forget about everything for just one night and enjoy with the rest of the family?" And there went the hint of sympathy.

As if he could ever forget about everything. No such thing. There was no forgetting, especially not after what he'd done earlier that day. "You know what? I'm done." He said defeated as he stood and held his sister out for Paddy to take.

"What's wrong?" Chas asked. "What's he done now?" She asked looking at Paddy.

"What have I done?" 

"It's...it's nothing." Paddy began to stumble over his words. "He's just overreacting." And there it was. That tone. That fucking attitude. He took a deep breath and counted to ten.

_"Don't bottle it up, Aaron." Emily told him. "Your feelings, what you feel is valid. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. Don't let yourself hide away your pain. You shouldn't have to. Let it out. Tell me, what are you feeling now?"_

_Aaron nearly felt himself choking on the words that clawed at his throat, begging to be let out. He couldn't hold it in anymore. "I...I feel alone." He said, barely a whisper, tears threatening to spill. "I have no one. The only person I want, the only one that I need I've lost for good." He sobbed as the tears finally broke free. "And...and they all just keep telling me to get over it. That it's time to move on. That Robert is selfish and all he cared about was himself."_

_Emily took a deep breath taking in everyone of Aaron's words and leaned forward to assert her own words. "I'm going to be a bit unprofessional here for a moment." She said as she locked eyes with Aaron, "but that is the biggest load of shite I've ever heard. I know Robert." She did. Robert had been a part of Aaron's counseling on several occasions, and more than once had been Emily's main focus. She'd gotten to know him well enough. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but, I think you need to hear this." She stood from her seat and kneeled in front of him as she placed a hand over his. "I get countless girls come through my doors, countless of destroyed you girls who have been where Robert's sister was, where you yourself have been…and I feel like I die on the inside Everytime I hear their stories, the things they've been through, the things they suffer. People like Lee, those that have zero remorse for what they've done...they're monsters and the world is a much better place for not having if even one less of them, Robert...Robert deserved a fucking medal for riddlng the world of that monster." She swallowed hard, wiping away at her own eyes, her sad eyes that looked to hide her own anguish. "Robert did not deserve the punishment he was handed."_

_Aaron hadn't had a response. He certainly had not expected that kind of reaction. She gave him a sympathetic smile and returned to her seat._

_"I want you to promise me one thing, can you do that for me?"_

_Aaron nodded in response._

_"I need you to stand up for yourself, for your feelings. Don't let your family, or anyone else for that matter...don't let them make you feel like you're crazy for mourning over what you two lost."_

"You need to get over this, Aaron. It's time, you got over this. It's not worth dragging your feet for the rest of your life." Paddy added, and Aaron was done.

Aaron simply scoffed in return. "You know what, Paddy?" He spoke. "You can do one." He said and handed Eve over to him. "I'm done with this shit."

"Aaron! Don't take that tone with him. He's just worried about you. We all are." She said nodding to everyone else there.

"Worried?" He laughed. "Is that...is that why you all just keep telling me to move on, instead of just supporting me, instead of just being there for me?" 

"He's not worth all this."

"You even hearing yourself? I'm so sick of this shit. You all pretend like you care but you really don't. If you really did, you'd see how much I'm hurting, you'd be there for me, instead of trying to force me to move on, trying to get me to forget the only person that's ever really mattered to me."

"You're just upset about the divorce papers." Chas blurted out as if he were a child throwing a tantrum.

"The what papers?" Belle asked in shock.

"You went through my post?" Aaron asked, placing a hand to his hip, walking towards her.

"Somebody's gotta keep on top of ya, you're no good to anyone in the state you've been in since Robert left ya."

"Left me?" He repeated fully offended. "Left me? He was torn away from me!"

"Then why the divorce?" His mother shot back.

And fuck that stung, she knew it would.

"I'm done." He said as he strode to the door. "I'm done with you all." His last words before he took off leaving his coat behind.

He meant it. He was done with everything. This place, this family, it's all brought him nothing but pain. The only thing really worth sticking around for wasn there anymore. Maybe it was time to move one. Deep down he knew why Robert did what he did, only he was too angry to admit it to himself. Robert wasn't selfish, he wasn't a coward, what he had done, he had done out of love. One final act of selflessness.

He couldn't let Robert's sacrifice be for nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

** ROBERT**

  
  


"I told you to take care of him when I left, didn't I?" Andy's voice was stern, he almost sounded mad, or at least he would have if he didn't sound so disappointed. 

If only he had a £ for every time he disappointed someone. Still, his words cut right through, they're enough to make his eyes water almost instantly. Fuck, just thinking about Aaron hurts him through his core. "I know." Robert finally says as he looks up at Andy. It's only been a week and he's already back, only this time he isn't alone.

"Back off, Andy. That's not what we're here for." The pretty brunette beside him said as she placed a hand to Andy's shoulder.

"I thought...I thought it was the right thing to do." Robert's voice broke, his eyes stung as they quickly turned a shade of red, and his chin wobbled furiously. It hurt him enough having done it, having to justify it was like driving a dagger through his own heart.

"To abandon him?" Andy was quick to return.

"Like you did Jack and Sarah?" Robert shot right back. His words were venom. It was quick, but it was just like the old them, ready to swing at each other at the slightest provocation.

"You're such a prick." Andy chuckled. "I'm glad you're still in there, that this place hasn't broken you." If only Andy was right.

"I...I just wanted him to be happy." He nearly sobbed. "And this." Robert gestured around him. "What kind of life is this for him. Living for the few visits a month, not being able to really touch, not being able to really be with each other. We were meant to be starting a family." He cried. "I couldn't give him anything, not from within here, not what he deserves."

"And what exactly is that?" Andy asked.

"Better...he deserves better."

"Oh, Rob." Andy reached out and placed a hand over Robert's restless hands. "Dad really did a number on you, didn't he?"

Fuck did it feel weird. Him and Andy, like this, not at each other's throats. He'd be lying if he said he didn't like it, still, it made him a bit uncomfortable. He gently pulled his hands away and leaned back in his seat. "Look...I appreciate what you're trying to do." He stopped to clear his throat. "But don't bother. There's nothing you can do, this is it now, this is my life, it's what I deserve." Somewhere deep down he truly felt it. After everything he had done, this is right where he thought he belonged. "You'll only be wasting your time."

"You can fuck right off if you think I'm just going to leave ya here, Rob." Andy was almost angry in his response. "You saved my life, you did everything you could to make sure I had a life I could live, that I wouldn't end up in a place like this...and you're mad if you think I'm not going to do the same for you." There was conviction in Andy's voice. He meant it. He meant it in a way he'd never meant anything before. "We're family, you're my brother, and I'm not going to let you down the way everyone else has."

"Soft." The woman beside Andy finally spoke. "Now that you two have gotten that out of the way, I can start to do my job." She teased. There was a cockiness to the brunette that clicked with Robert immediately.

Andy chuckled as he turned his eyes from Robert to the woman. "I'm so sorry, Luce...I...got carried away." He apologized to her before turning back to Robert. "Rob, this is Lucy, my wife...and she's the person that's going to get you out of here."

~~~~~~

The visit had been short, but long enough for Robert to give Lucy some more details about his case, about everything that had happened. She had been quiet as he spoke, quickly taking down notes, and occasionally quieting Andy as he tried to scold Robert for his actions. By the time the guards had called time, she had several pages worth of notes, and stood from her seat with what almost looked like a grin on her face. Oh, she was most definitely cocky. Lucy had informed him that she was very confident in getting an appeal for him, and that she would be in touch very soon to follow up. She gave him a quick hug and stepped aside to give him and Andy a moment to say goodbye. Despite how buttoned up she had been, Robert felt a warmthness about her, made him feel like maybe he might stand a chance.

For a week, he kept a low profile, making sure to keep out of trouble, all the while daring himself to dream of getting out, of being free. Dreams filled his nights, dreas with blue skies, trees, fresh air against his face, and most importantly, the man he left behind. Days went by as he tried to convince himself to reach out. To call. To write. To make some form of contact. Yet his doubts would always win. Would Aaron even listen? Would he even care?

Instead he relented to his thoughts, arguments constantly running through them, excuses, anything that would make Aaron listen to him.

When Lucy returned, she had gained better access to him as his solicitor. No longer were they relegated to the short visiting hours set for family visitors and the work really began.

"There's a really great shot at gross I justice, Robert." Lucy began. "At least based on the initial information you've given me, so now...now I'm going to need everything."

Robert swallowed past the lump in his throat, daring to give himself any kind of hope. "Yeah...okay. Where do we start?"

Lucy pulled out a notepad and pen, followed by a recorder. She carefully placed things on the table in front of her, then began to record their conversation. After an hour of what felt like an interrogation and leaned forward with a more serious look on her face. "So the attack of Lee Posner happened in your own home?" She asked.

"Yes, out front."

"And he was there for the money, correct? The one he was blackmailing your sister for?"

Robert nodded. "Yes."

"Do you have records of the withdrawal? Any evidence of his harassment?"

"Yes, I kept records of the withdrawal, how much money we gathered, what accounts we pulled it from, and yeah...I kept track of his text messages."

"Robert...I know Andy always says your an idiot...but, you really are an idiot." She almost scolds him. "Why wasn't any of this brought up before? What bargain bin solicitor were you using before?"

"I…" His face drops. "I didn't want to out Victoria through anymore. She'd suffered enough. I couldn't bear to have her stand in court and relive it all. To have the prosecutor tearing her apart trying to discredit everything we threw out."

"But Murder? Robert, that sentencing is nothing but gross injustice. That should have been manslaughter at best. You had no intention of killing Lee, your actions were not premeditated, pleading guilty was a mistake." She let out a deep breath. "I'll be honest, Robert. There's a chance we won't even be heard, but if we can get an appeal, I'm very confident we can win."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if we're lucky, you'll be a free man long before the fourteen ridiculous years that clown of a judge handed you." She smiled.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**AARON**

"Look, I get it." Liv was first to break the long silence that had taken over. It had been weeks since Christmas, weeks since his own birthday that turned out to be an even bigger mess, and silence had become the usual sound of their home, of the Mill. Not that it really felt like a home anymore. Yeah, it was a house, arguably the best in the village, but it no longer felt like a home. When Robert went, he seemed to have taken so much with him, it felt cold, dark, devoid of colors, the warmth that only he was able to bring into it. Even the fruit bowl at the table sat there collecting dust. It had been months since everything happened, and things were different. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, or anyone else for that matter. If you need to go, then go." The sincerity in her eyes was way beyond her age. The spoke in ways her own words couldn't. She understood.

"It's not that simple, Liv." Aaron held back the tears as he sat at the sofa, the television on in the background. If Aaron wasn't at work, sat down in front of the television pretending to watch, was the only other place he'd be found.

"Isn't it?" She quickly rebutted. "You're miserable here. No matter how much you try and hide it, I know you."

"I'm trying." He held back tears as his voice did something it only does when he cries.

"So stop. You shouldn't have to try."

"What about you, Seb, everyone else?"

Liv let out a deep sigh as her head dropped, remembering all too well her pleas to him not so long ago. She hated herself for it. Pushing Aaron to be strong for everyone else, for her, when she knew how much he was hurting. Yeah, she was young, but truth be told she was getting old enough to where she wanted her independence. She had only been scared of Aaron doing something stupid. She loved Robert just as much, and after seeing how everyone else kept on pushing Aaron to move on, all the while blaming everything on Robert, she knew how wrong she had been, how wrong everyone had been. They were putting so much pressure on Aaron, when all he needed was support. She wouldn't make that mistake again. "I'll be fine Aaron. I'm tougher than I look, besides it's not like you're doing a runner. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I can visit.." She chuckled softly. "Everyone else...screw everyone else, this isn't about them, this is about what you, about what you need. As for Seb...he's only two, he's not going anywhere. You'll figure something out."

"But…"

"No buts, Aaron. You remember what I told you?" She asked. "Don't let it be for nothing. Live your life for him. Make sure you have stories to tell him when he's out." She smiled as a single tear broke free of her eye.

Aaron couldn't contain himself any longer, he reached out and pulled her into his arms, sobbing as he held her tightly. He'd been holding onto it all for fart too long. "Thank you, Liv." He thanked her between sobs.

"You know what you're gonna do?"

Aaron shook his head in response, though deep down he had a bit of an idea. "I just know I need to get away from here, away from everyone. It just hurts, being here. Everything reminds me of him. This house...he built this house for us, I can't turn around without seeing him in something."

"I know." Liv wiped at her eyes. "I was here, remember?" She gave him a sad smile. "Just...whatever you decide...let me know, yeah? Even if you don't want anyone else to know." His relationship with Chas and Paddy had deteriorated before her eyes, what was worse was that they were so oblivious to it. They had been all too happy with Eve to really notice what Aaron was going through. She knew he wouldn't want that to follow him, she knew him all too well.

~~~~~~

  
  


April had come and nearly gone, with everything ready and planned out, Aaron simply waited to make his move, he just couldn't leave without saying a proper goodbye to someone, and there was only one day he could think of to do it. With sunrise shining light down on him, he stood alone with hands in his pockets. He slowly swayed from side to side trying to think of what to say. He'd never done this, at least not on his own, he'd been there several times to see Robert do it, but always stood behind and watched. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, and licked his lips. "I'm...I'm sorry I couldn't take better care of him." He choked back. "When, we got back together, I told him I would help him this time around, and I feel like I failed him." The wind picked up, blowing the fluff atop his head around. "I wish I could have been there, wish I could have stopped it all from happening, and I hope you know that I would take his place if I could...in a heartbeat." He stopped to blow out some air, looked around, and chuckled. "I don't know how he did this without feeling like a complete idiot. That's what he was though, wasn't he? An idiot. My idiot. Today is his birthday." He stopped for a moment taking the brevity of it all. "And I would have spoiled him if he'd only let me. Look...I'm leaving, and...I don't know...I guess I just couldn't leave without doing this, without letting you know that he's not forgotten, that I'll always think of him, and I hope that's of some comfort to you." With that, Aaron's cleared his throat one last time, said his goodbye, and pulled the bouquet of flowers from underneath his arm, leaned down and placed it on top of Sarah's grave. He took a couple of steps only to turn around and quickly walked back. "Look...I know you don't owe me anything, but can you...can you please watch over him...make sure he's good...just make sure he's safe. I want to see him again one day." He nodded and walked away.

As daylight fully took over, he slowly made his way through the village, taking it all in. Memories flooded him, both good and bad, yet most of them had the one person he now missed more than anything. The Wooly, the garage, the cricket pavilion, everyone of those places had meaning to him and Robert. Walking through the village was like walking through a photo album. Now it was time to put it away, to store it, he's done it before, oy this time it hurt so much more.

When he gets back home, he repeats it, walks through the house, every footstep echoing through the empty silence of it, and he says one final goodbye before shutting the lights off and closing the door behind him. With keys in hand he opens the door to Robert's car, hops on boards, and smiles briefly as he grips on to the steering wheel. For a moment he hesitates. Part of him telling himself to tell everyone, to say goodbye, and then he remembers how they've reacted to everything before. They'll guilt him about what he feels, tell him to get over it, and move on. Worst of all, he knows that if he doesn't go now, he won't be strong enough to do what he needs to do. He'll cave I'm, he'll listen to what they tell him, and he'll go back to being the shell he's been for so long now.

Then he remembers Liv's words.

"Screw everyone else. This is for me."

And like that, he ignites the engine, hears it come to life after months of going unused, and he takes off. He needs to go. He needs to live his life. He needs to have stories to tell Robert when he's out, because one day, he will get out, and one day, he will have him back.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**ROBERT**

Everything happened so fast, it had only been two months since Robert first let Andy visit, and now everything had been set in motion. He couldn't believe it, there was no way it was possible, and he sat still in shock. The feeling was almost like what people describe as an out of body experience. He could see his surroundings, Lucy sitting in front of him, the big grin on her face, yet he felt like he was floating outside his own body. Lucy's eyes had gone from what almost looked like a smile, to a look of concern. She reached over and placed her hand over Robert's. "Rob...Robert? You with me?" She asked, her voice laced with concern. "Please say something!"

Finally, it all hit him like a wave, one that sent him reeling straight back into his body. "I…" He tries to answer.

"You alright?" She asked.

"Yeah...just...I can't believe it. I can't believe you did it." He felt a tear roll down his cheek. He hadn't dared to think of this happening, of things changing, of him possibly getting out.

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves." She said calmly as she tried to gather herself a bit. "We got the appeal. That's only the first step, now we'll have to build the case, a serious one. We have to be able to get the court to agree that the sentence you were given was grossly unjust. There are so many factors in your case that were unknown before, factors that would have made a difference back then. It's going to be tough, they'll question you, they'll ask why they weren't put forth before, they'll try and tear you apart, but I know we can do this, Robert. I know _ you _can do this." She smiled and reluctantly reached out to pat his arm.

"You really think I have a chance?" He asked, still fearful to give himself hope. He couldn't bear the thought of everything falling apart.

Lucy gave him a soft smile and nodded. "If we lay down all of our evidence before the court, yeah, I think we have a really great chance."

Robert leaned back and ran his hands down his face as he let out what almost sounded like a laugh. "Thank you." His voice was soft, almost too soft. "Thank you for doing this, for everything."

"No need for thanks." She smiled fondly. "I mean, that's what family is for, no?" And fuck if that didn't feel strange. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to have that, a family. The thought of having someone, anyone, stick by him no matter what, was almost alien. The last person person to that that, had given up on him some time ago, not that he could blame him. It was what he had hoped for, what he planned. "I know we've only just met, but I hope you know that I think of you as family, Robert. Andy's spoken of you for so long now, I feel like I know you."

"I...uh...I don't know what to say." He found himself speechless. Here was this woman, who by all means was practically a stranger to him, fighting for him. She was ready to go to war for him. As he thought it over he couldn't help but feel the pit in his stomach as he thought of his own sister, regardless of what she had been through, she couldn't bring herself to fight for him. At the time, he'd accepted it, felt like he still had to protect her, keep her from going through anything else, but deep down he resented her. He'd sacrificed everything for her, and she simply let him without hesitation. She did so and then couldn't bring herself to fight for him, compared herself fighting for him, to her own rapist's actions.

"I...Robert, I know you were apprehensive about it when I first brought it up, but now that we're closer to everything moving forward. I will need to speak to everyone I can. Your sister included."

"No. No. We can't. I don't want to bring anyone else into it. I don't want to give them hope only to let them down if this doesn't work. It's all I ever do...let everyone down."

Lucy gave him a sympathetic smile and reached out again to take his hand into hers. "We can do this, Robert. We can win this, but I need for you to be strong, to be positive, and that means facing everyone. We can present all of this evidence, but without witnesses, some of it might not make a difference. Victoria, Diane, they were both there, they were both witnesses to the harassment, to the blackmailing, their testimony might be the extra bit we need to make the court see that this is unjust."

Robert thought on it, part of him wanting to just give up, not even trying. It all felt like a fools dream anyway, or at least it's what he told himself, what he tried to convince himself of. "What...what if they don't want to?" Deep down it's what he was terrified of.

"What if they don't want to what?" Lucy asked, confusion taking over her hopeful look as she softly shook her head.

"What if...what if they don't want anything to do with me? I ruined all their lives." His voice broke. All he could do was question why would they want to fight on his side after everything he'd put them through.

Lucy's face changed quickly, the look of confusion changed to what almost looked like pity, and it made Robert's stomach drop instantly. He wasn't looking for pity. He didn't need anyone's pity. He was ready to stand, to walk away, but the gentle squeeze around his hand made him stop, it settled him.

"Because that's what family does." She said as if it was the most simple thing ever, as if it just was. He wished he could believe her, but something deep down made him doubt it. Again, Lucy gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Andy." She started then paused for a moment as if thinking over what she would say. "Look, Andy didn't want me to tell you, not yet."

"Tell me what?" He nearly pulled back into himself.

"He's gone back...to the village, to Emmerdale."

"He what?"

"He said he needed to see them, talk to them, let them know what we were doing. He wanted me to wait until after he's already spoken to everyone before I told you, but I think you needed to hear it."

"Hear what?"

"That your brother is out there, fighting for you. Your brother will do whatever it takes to get you out, and he wants you to know you're worth fighting for." She smiled. "And he's right, Robert. You're worth it."

He nearly sobbed, wasn't aware of just how much he needed to hear that. Somewhere down the road, he'd lost himself, lost what little worth he had in himself since everything happened. Lucy was right though, Andy was right. He had to accept that. No matter how hard it felt he needed to accept it. He'd never make it through this otherwise.

"Okay." He replied. "But...we keep Aaron out of this. I've hurt him enough, and whatever life he's made for himself now. I don't want to ruin that." It hurt to even say it, but he had to force himself through it.

"Okay." Lucy gave him a sad smile. "We'll keep Aaron out of it."

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**AARON**

A year, a whole fucking year it had been, and still it hurt just about as much as the moment he saw Robert standing there, surrounded by policemen. That moment had played in his head so many times he'd lost count. It played through lonely moments, through nightmares, and anytime he even saw a police car. It haunted him. A whole fucking year, since the man he loved sacrificed himself for him. There were days he hated him for what he did, hated him just because, but there were days when he simply hated himself for not seeing it, for not catching the signs that Robert was going to do it. Throughout it all however, there had always been one thing that remained a constant. He loved him. Still. Always. That would never change, even on the nights he cried himself to sleep because he still couldn't get through to his husband...ex husband. It didn't matter that he understood why Robert did what he did. It didn't matter that he had accepted it. He wasn't going to give up. It didn't matter that he had decided to honor Robert's wish, to live a life, to try and be happy, he was still going to try and get through to him.

"Dad!" A soft squeaky voice pulled him from his thoughts as he held the phone to his ear. He turned his attention from the phone knowing damn well he would only get the same response he had for the past year, and looked straight into the soft green eyes that looked up at him.

"What is it, mate?" Aaron smiled down at him, his son. He couldn't help it, even when his heart was broken, Seb's face always brought him joy. Maybe it was the eyes, the gingery blond hair, or the splash of freckles that lined the bridge of his nose and cheeks, the spitting image of his dad, or maybe it was just the fact that he loved him more than anything. 

"Is dat daddy?" He asked with a hopeful smile, his lips smeared in Nutella, as his tiny hand offered him a piece of toast.

The question would have broken him if it had been the first time, only he'd asked more than once before. He wasn't going to hide this from Seb, from their son. Liv had been right, he had been able to work something out with Rebecca, and when her relationship with Ross ultimately failed, she asked him to take Seb. Since then, he made sure Seb knew his father, made sure he'd never forget him. It hurt seeing the disappointment in his face every time it happened, but hiding it wasn't an option. Letting Seb grow up thinking Robert was gone of his own free would never happen. "Sorry, mate." He said as he heard the voice on the other end of the phone confirm communication was not possible. "Your daddy can't talk just yet, but trust me, he loves you so much."

"How much?" Seb asked as Aaron took the piece of toast from his hand.

"So much." Aaron smiled at him.

"Dis much." Seb stretched his arms out as far as he could.

"No way, mate." Aaron scrunched his face at him. "He loves you way more."

"Like how much?" It still amazed Aaron just how smart, how much Seb understood, and he often told Seb that he was just as smart as his dad.

Aaron stood up from his seat and stretched his arms out just like Seb. "This much." He said as he strained. "Only, even more than that."

Seb simply smiled back accepting the answer as if he just understood everything. 

"How about you finish your brekkie and then I take you to the zoo, yeah? We can take some pictures and save them so you can show your daddy when he comes home."

Seb smiled, settling himself down, and went back to his breakfast with a smile on his face.

It wasn't long before Aaron found himself kneeling in front of Seb, his hands buttoning up the small coat. Seb wore his favorite coat, the same one he always wanted to wear, a dark navy coat with with light brown elbow patches. Aaron remembers crying when he first bought it, even more so when Seb first wore it asking if he looked like his dad. He kissed the top of his head and took his tiny hand into his own before leading him towards the Zoo.

Seb jumped in excitement as he heard the noises coming from afar, his funny voice imitating what he heard, and all Aaron could do was beam a smile. As much as Robert's absence hurt, Seb's presence made it hurt that much less. Seb continued to mimic the animal noises he heard and Aaron reached into his pocket for his phone. 

That same night he lay in bed, his thumb swiping across the screen of his phone, he looked through every picture taken, watched every video he recorded, and hoped that this was enough. He hoped that these memories would be good enough, that the life he was living would be what Robert wanted for him. As sad as he was, he was happy. Even if it was years from the very moment, he knew that Robert would one day be out, and when that day came, he would have him back, and he would have so much to tell him, and even more to show him.

He's looking at a picture, his favorite of the day, as he feels his eyes become heavy. Seb is sat on his shoulders, both making a face, one that Aaron swears looks like a monkey, and they're both looking directly at the camera. His eyes slowly close as he tries to fight them, trying his best to keep looking at the picture, and a soft smile spreads across his face as his sleep pulls him under with the picture still on his mind. They look like they don't have a care in the world. They look happy. 

_ This is for you, Robert. _

He thinks to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**ROBERT**

* * *

There's a ticking in the air, it echoes, reverberates off the walls. It's so quiet Robert swears he would be able to hear a pin drop, but instead the ticking of the clothes on the wall makes his nerves go into overdrive. He was trying his best to keep it together, after all he couldn't afford to fall apart, not now. The day had come, Lucy had called me through for him, his appeal was to be heard, and today was the day.

He gulped hard, swallowing past the lump in his throat as he anxiously awaited to be called, to be led up into the courtroom. His fists were tightly clenched and his eyes focused heavily on the clock as if willing time to move faster. 

_ Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.  _ He thought to himself as if sending the thoughts out to the universe, hoping they would be heard, and that Universe would find it in itself to give him another chance. A chance to be happy again. A chance he'd never take for granted. A chance he would let go to waste.

"Robert Sugden-Dingle" His name was called.

And just like that, a vision of blue flashed in his head. The blue of Aaron's eyes. He smiled a soft smile, one he almost felt afraid to show, and followed guard that led him to the stairs.

As he arose into the courtroom, his eyes immediately began to look around. Part of him afraid of seeing familiar faces, the same ones he'd cut out from his life years ago, the same ones he swore wouldn't help fight for him. It wasn't long before His eyes caught sight of his sister. Victoria. She gave him a sad smile as her eyes instantly watered. His lips moved as she quietly mouthed a "sorry" to him, and he nearly choked on a sob.

"How are you Robert?" Lucy asked from in front of him.

He nodded in response before his attention was caught by the booming voice of the judge. The man looked stern, angry almost, nothing about him seemed sympathetic. Like a void opening beneath him, Robert felt himself almost fall, his hope going right along with him. This wasn't going to happen. Not with this judge. No way. The universe had again sent an obstacle to stand in his way. He knew it. He could feel it in his bones. And just like that he felt the fight leave him. Against all odds he had given himself hope, and now he hated himself for it. All he wanted was to crawl back into his cell, his miserable fucking cell, and forget that any of this had ever happened.

"You can do this, Rob." Andy spoke from behind, as if reading what he felt. "You can do it." He nodded his head.

"You can rot in prison is what you can do." A woman's voice nearly shouted. It was Wendy, Lee's mother. As he locked eyes with her, all Robert could do was shrink in on himself. 

Part of him wanted to listen to his brother, but hope, hope had never done anything good for him, and now, there was Wendy to make sure he stayed where he was.

In his head, he gave up. He nodded. He responded to questions. He listened at Wendy's outbursts every time he spoke. He went about all the motions but it was almost as if his mind had left the moment he saw Wendy, with no fight left in him.

Two hours went by and the questioning really began. Lucy presented evidence, brought forth witnesses, and she fought like beast. As she fought for him, he felt some of his fight come back, if Lucy could fight the way she did, for him, he could do the same. Victoria was called upon, she told her side of the story, Lucy produced the messages, and Wendy accused them of falsifying everything. She was ordered to stay quiet and the battled continued. They were questioned on the validity of everything, they were questioned on why all of this evidence wasn't brought up before. Ultimately, the judge did not look too pleased when he called for a break.

Robert was led to a room where he was allowed to see his family, though he felt hesitation as he walked through, hesitation that melted away as he felt Victoria wrap her arms around him when he entered the room.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, Robert." She cried. "I'm so sorry I didn't fight for ya." Her eyes shed tears.

Daine stood back, as if ashamed, and Andy quickly pulled him into a hug as soon as Victoria pulled away. "You got this, Rob." He tried to encourage him.

"Do I?" He asked. The look on the judge left him doubtful. He hated to admit it, but it was true. "I don't think this is going to work." He held back the tears that threatens the edges of his eyes.

"Don't you dare say that." Lucy stopped him. "I know...things look a bit bleak at the moment, but I know we can do this." She tried to add before a guard approached her, whispering something into her ear. "I'll...I'll be right back." She said before leaving the room.

"What was that about?" Robert looked towards Andy who shook his head in response.

"Just let her do her job, Rob. She knows what she's doing."

"Where did you find her?" Victoria asked asked if leaving the thought of the appeal behind. She knew that this could go either way, and after everything, she hoped she could give Robert some form of normalcy. She pulled the focus into the everyday, the mundane, the things Robert probably missed the most, and they found themselves laughing. She showed pictures of her baby to Robert. Told him she named him Jack. Everything felt almost normal, but in the moment of normalcy, Robert felt the obvious, the one thing that was missing. 

"Aaron?" He asked unable to keep himself from asking.

"Robert…" Victoria tried to answer before they were all interrupted by Lucy's return. 

She came in with a grin on her face.

"What...what's happened?" Robert asked before he noticed the older woman walk in behind her.

"Kim Tate?" He asked, the name almost feeling bitter on his tongue. "What does she want?"

"Oh dear Robert." She quickly replied. "I happen to be here to get you out." She said as if she had all the power in the world.

"I don't need anything from you." He quickly shot back remembering all too well what she and her clowns, Joe and Graham had done to him.

"It's okay Robert." Lucy stopped him. "She brought us exactly what we need." She said as she held her hand out. She held a cassette tape.

"Why...why would you want to help?" He said as he looked from the tape, unaware of what it held, to Kim.

"We might not be friends, not like each other at all really, but...it's the least I could do for your mum." She said. "She was a good friend to me, quite possibly the only real friend I ever had. This is for her." Kim smiled begrudgingly and retreated.

"I need to submit this as evidence." She said with a hopeful look. "I'll leave you be for now and I'll see you back in the courtroom."

"Yeah...okay." He replied. "Wait...what's in that?" He asked nodding to her hand.

"This...this is what's going to get you out."

  
  


~~~~~~

  
  


"Robert's attack on Lee wasn't something that was premeditated. It wasn't some malicious act of self justice." Lucy spoke with authority. When she spoke, she commanded the room, people listened. "When Robert attacked Lee, as horrible as it may have been, it was in the heat of the moment. It caught him by surprise just as much as it had Lee. He didn't plan it. He simply acted." She paused for a moment. "And what brought upon such action you asked. A confession. Lee not only confessed to what he had done to Victoria, Robert's sister, but he gloated about it, and what's even worse is that he gloated about how he'd do it again, he gloated about who his next victim would be."

"That's lie. A disgusting lie. My Lee never did such a thing. He was innocent!" Wendy shouted.

"Is it?" Lucy questioned, not directly at Wendy, but towards the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is like to you all to please pay close attention to the video evidence. This video was taken right outside my clients home where the attack happened." She picked up a remote and hit a button.

Robert's jaw nearly dropped as the video began to play. It was right outside their home. Lee had stepped out, he followed yelling. It was all as clear as day, the fight, both swinging at each other, Lee admitting everything just as Robert had remembered, and ultimately Robert attacking Lee with the shovel. It all ended with Robert in shock. The look on his face. The instant regret. Him quickly calling for an ambulance as Victoria pulled him from his shock.

The sound of the jury gasping, Wendy crying as she was forced to accept that her son had been a monster, it all melted into and echo that nearly sent Robert right back to that day.

"As you can clearly see, Robert's actions were that of a man simply trying to protect his family. As awful as it may sound, Robert's actions could very well have saved the life of another unexpected young woman." She said as she turned to the jury. "Lee raped Victoria, he had done so before, and he planned to do it again. His next victim could have been your daughters, wives, sisters, mother's, tell me would any of you have been able to act differently?" 

The jury began to look between themselves, each one looking much more conflicted than before.

"Murder means there must have been premeditation. It's the act of planning, of setting out to kill someone. Lee Posner is dead, as awful as it may be, but he did not die directly from this attack, an attack that was not premeditated, he passed months later due to complications caused by his injuries. At worst, this should have been manslaughter, not murder. The sentence that was handed to my client is gross and unjust." Her voice is loud and clear. "Today, I ask you all to look within yourselves, and ask if you agree with the punishment. Does he deserve life in prison for doing what anyone of us would have done? Does he deserve to be robbed of his life for an act he did not plan, for an act he wishes he could take back? Ask yourself this, what if one of Lee Posner's victims had been your loved one, what if this was you up here, would you think the punishment fit the crime?" She ended as she turned and took her seat.

_ This is it.  _ Robert thought to himself. The judge, the jury, they all still looked conflicted, and he hated himself for it, but he gave himself hope. He dared to think,  _ what if? What if they actually win? What if they managed to get his sentence reduced? What if he can see Aaron again in just a couple more years?  _

He let his mind wander, he let it get carried away,all he could do was think of having Aaron back in his arms. Nothing else mattered. Everything, everyone else became is mumble in the background. He simply held his breath and thought of the only person that ever truly made him happy, he focus so hard on him that time seemed to have flown past him. He pictured that smile, the one that it shined for him alone, the blue eyes he loved waking up to, and he heard the raspy voice as if it called to him. "Robert. Robert. Robert." 

"ROBERT." Lucy's voice pulled him from his head. She had tears in her eyes, she beamed a smile, and he finally focused in on what was going on. 

He looked up just in time to hear the judge finish what he was saying.

"Time served." The judge locked eyes with him. "Mr. Sugden-Dingle, you are a free man."

And a simple gasp left his mouth.

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost done. Hope you guys like it.
> 
> I'd love some feedback/comments ♥️  
They're always appreciated.

**ROBERT/AARON**

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS?" Robert shouted. 

It took all of just seconds for things to escalate so quickly. He couldn't help it, this wasn't right.

"Don't you come in here shouting at me, you." Chas pointed a finger at him 

He wasted no time, as soon as everything had been said and done, after the appeal all he could do was ask about Aaron. He needed to know how he was, if there was any chance of winning him back. His hopes were dashed when Victoria sadly told him Aaron's n had been gone for years. No one knew where he was, no one but Liv at least, and she was halfway way across the globe. The second they arrived back to the village, Robert strode straight into the pub.

Everyone had been in shock to see him, too much in shock to really react. Chas however walked around the bar and tried to give him a hug only for Robert to stop here. When she said she didn't know, he blew up.

"The only reason...the only thing that kept me going was knowing that I left him with his family. That...that he'd have you lot to help him pick up the pieces." He nearly choked on his words as his voice broke. "And...this...this what I left him to? None of you deserve him." He spat at her. "And you...his mum. He needed you." He shook his head and turned around, quickly making his escape.

His steps were quick as he strode across the village, Andy and Victoria followed behind him, both trying to catch up as he headed towards his home, his former home. The streets were lined up with decorations, lights, all the fanfare that came with the season, Christmas. None of it mattered though, he only had one thing in mind, he had to find Aaron. He hoped against all odds that the spare key was still where they had always kept it, breaking into it wasn't an option. As the Mill came into view he couldn't help but stop in his tracks it still looked the same, just as he remembered, yet somehow colder. It wasn't decorated like the other homes, but that wasn't it, it somehow felt devoid of color, of life, this was what he had done. He continued to walk, making his way to the driveway, and for a second, his breath hitched in his throat. His car, it was gone. He quickly let go of the thought, the car was of no importance, besides, it's not like he would blame Aaron for scrapping it. Not after what he had done to him.

Nearly reaching the front door, he kneeled down near the shrubs and reached for the small decoy rock they used to hide the key. "Gotcha." He smiled.

"Liv's not here, Robert. I told ya, she's in America traveling with some friends."

"I heard you the first time."

"Then why are we here?" 

"I...I don't know. I just...maybe I can find some idea of where he might be." He responded.

"I don't think he left any clues, Robert. He ran away in the middle of the night so no one would know."

"He's not some stroppy teenager, he didn't run away." Robert nearly bit back. "He left because you all made him feel worse about everything."

"I...I never...I didn't, Robert. I swear."

"But you saw what everyone else did to him. Didn't you?"

Victoria nodded in response.

"And you did nothing about it." 

This time she dropped her head and looked away. "I...I had my own problems to deal with."

"PROBLEM? AARON'S NOT A PROBLEM. HE'S YOUR FAMILY. I WAS YOUR FAMILY. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR US JUST LIKE WE TRIED TO BE THERE FOR YOU!" He shouted.

Victoria could respond she simply backed away and left.

"VIC...I'M SORRY!" Robert shouted after her, tried to run after her only Andy stopped him.

"It's okay, Rob. Let her be. I think she gets it, deep down she gets it."

He took a deep breath and threw his head back exasperated. For the first time he was a free man, yet he still felt captive, as if caged from his true freedom, the freedom that came from being with the one person that matters the most.

"I'll... I'll give you some time. Leave you to it." Andy said. "I…"

"Go on, Andy. Go see Jack and Sarah." He smiled. "And...thank...for everything."

"No need for thanks." Andy smiled. "It's what family's for." 

As Andy left, Robert walked towards the sofa and took a seat, his limbs feeling all too heavy. It had been a long day.

"Where are you, Aaron?"

~~~~~~

Soft giggles filled the cold air every bit as much as the hot breath forming weird shapes that caused the giggles in the first place. Aaron took a deep breath and pursed his lips before blowing out, trying to make a donut in the air with his breath, and failing again sending Seb into a fit of laughter.

"Da!" He giggled. "You shuck."

"Oi, where'd you learn that word?" Aaron feigned a scowl. 

All Seb could do was shrug his shoulders and grin in return, making Aaron ruffle his hand onto Seb's head, the soft ball of fluff on top taking the blunt of the playful attack.

"So, you ready to pick one out?" Aaron asked as the laughter stopped, nodding towards the Christmas trees that lined shop. Freshly cut they were, the smell of the pine needles still filled the air and made him smiled knowing Robert would have loved it. Robert always wanted a real tree, but Aaron had stood his ground, he'd argued that the expensive bed me they had bought for their first Christmas together was not going to go to waste. 

Seb smiled and nodded his head signalling Aaron to walk them through the doors. As they stepped into the shop Aaron put him down and took his little hand into his own, and they began to look at the trees. As happy as Seb looked, Aaron couldn't help but feel how empty the process felt. Something was missing. Something was always missing. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and smiled when he felt the soft squeeze to his hand, as if Seb had picked up on what he felt.

The continued to walk together hand in hand until they stopped suddenly, looking at a tree as if it had called to them. It was it. It was the one. They both knew it. It was perfect.

"You tink daddy would like it?" Seb asked squeezing onto Aaron's hand.

Aaron felt his heart skipped a beat just thinking of the bright smile on Robert's face, the same one he'd make whenever he looked at him, really looked at him. It was a smile that reached his eyes, one that made him radiate with what could only be described as love, it was magical really. He'd like to think that Robert would smile that way if he saw the tree, if he had been there on the other side of Seb, their perfect family. He felt the tears threatening at the edges of his eyes and cleared his throat before looking down at his son. "Daddy would love it." He smiled.

"I want dis one then." Seb beamed a smile, just like the one Aaron remembered on Robert.

"This one it is then." He replied. "Let's get it home, yeah?"

Seb nodded in return and grabbed a hold of the bottom of Aaron's coat, as his dad grabbed a hold of the tree and led them to the front of the shop. 

The crackling of the fireplace had become a norm as the cold came, and tonight wasn't any different. The sound filled the air, along with the smell of the burning firewood, it had become such a comfort for them both, and they enjoyed it as they decorated their tree. Seb stayed low, hanging ornaments along the branches he could reach, while Aaron decorated the top, like a team they were always together. "You know, your dad would've hated these." Aaron almost chuckled.

Seb looked up at him, a worrying look washing over his little face. "Why?" He asked as he stopped with a brightly colored ornament in hand.

Aaron paused for a moment, taking in the obnoxiously bright colored ornaments, and smiled. "Cos he's posh." He said as pursed his lips and shook his shoulders in a way he thought would convey what he was saying.

"What's dat?" Seb's brows scrunched in confusion.

"It means he thinks he's fancy." Aaron chuckled. "But it's fine, we can decorate it however we want cos he ain't here anyway." He tried to get joke, I only he regretted it the moment he said it. Like a jab to his heart he felt it, and the sad look on Seb's face didn't help. He placed the bright green ornament in his hand down, and kneeled in front of Seb. "You know he'd be here if he could, yeah?" He asked as he cupped Seb's face in his hands. "He'd want nothing more."

Seb pouted his lips and slowly nodded. Aaron made sure to tell him how much Robert wanted to be there with them at every chance he got, but every now and then he'd let something like this slip. He couldn't help it. He missed him every bit as much as their son did.

Aaron pulled him into a hug and quickly changed the subject. "So, you gonna tell me what you asked Santa for?"

"It won't happen if I tell you." He responded.

"How about this." Aaron started. "How about you whisper it me, that way I can help Santa get you it?"

Seb looked at him and smiled as he nodded. He leaned in close to Aaron's ear and his heart dropped as Seb spoke. "I asked Santa to bring daddy back."

~~~~~~

Christmas eve had come and Aaron couldn't help but feel the pit in his stomach. It had been a couple of days since Seb told him what he wanted for Christmas, and he couldn't figure out how to tell him it wouldn't happen, it wasn't possible, and it killed him to know he'd be disappointed. He had spent the last couple of days trying to keep Seb happy. Anything he wanted he got. Ice cream for breakfast included.

He'd been ddeo in thought when he felt it, the snowball to his face followed by the giggle of his son. "Da!" Seb squealed. "You're not lisning." He tried to say as he giggled. They were in their garden building a snowman, or at least trying to until Aaron's thoughts carried him away.

"Oh, you're so dead." Aaron wiped at his face before reaching down for some snow and quickly balling it and throwing it at Seb.

Seb broke into a fit of laughter and quickly dipped his tiny hands into the snow mirroring what Aaron had done, and quickly threw one in return. Aaron feigned a painful hit and dropped to the ground on his back. "Ah. You got me, mate." He grunted, secretly balling up more snow, and quickly sat up to throw another snowball at Seb, and just like that a turf war began. Snowballs flew all around, and Seb ducked behind the snowman for cover.

"Je vais tellement te chercher." Aaron tried his best between grunts.

"non papa." Seb responded as he giggled 

"Wow, votre français est bien meilleur que celui de votre père." A familiar voice spoke behind them. A voice that made Aaron stop dead in his tracks. A voice that made his eyes well up. One he didn't expect to hear any time soon.

Seb stood still, there was something familiar about the man, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it, yet somehow deep down he almost knew. He turned his attention to see his dad, with tears in his eyes quickly stand and turn. 

It had to be him. It had to.

Aaron's voice was shaky.

"Robert?"


	10. Chapter 10

**ROBERT & AARON**

* * *

It was all like a blur. Aaron doesn't even remember standing, doesn't even remember moving, but there he stood at the gate to his garden, his arms tightly wrapped around his world. His heart was racing, and he felt as if the air had been knocked out of him, yet for the first time in years he felt like he could finally breathe.

"It must be a dream." His voice was broken, more so than he had ever even heard in himself. "Please don't wake up. Please don't wake up." He begged himself as the memories of the few dreams he had, the ones where he would see Robert, the ones he would always wake up from immediately after reaching him.

"It's not a dream." Robert's soft voice told him. That soft voice he oy ever reserved for him.

And just like that his knees nearly gave in, the tears spilled, and cried. Aaron let himself cry like he hadn't in so long. This was impossible. Somehow the Universe had righted itself. Somehow the Universe had made him whole again.

"I'm really here, Aaron" Robert said as he squeezed Aaron in return. He held onto him like he'd float away if he didn't hug him for everything he was worth. "I'm so sorry." He tried to apologize only for Aaron's lips to come crashing into his own. Aaron's hands, strong, firm, just as he remembered them, took a holding of his face by each side, and he kissed him. He fucking kissed him. As Aaron pulled away and looked him in the eyes, Robert again tried to apologize for what he had done, for everything. "I'm so sorry, Aaron." He said, his own tears spilling.

"Shut up." 

"But…"

"Shut up." He reiterated. "You're here, that's all that matters." He smiled, and damn if he hadn't almost forgotten what that felt like, to smile, to smile like everything I'm the world was right, to smile like life was warmth and happiness. He was right though, nothing else mattered. Robert, his Robert, was home. He hadn't dared to think it possible, at least not for another ten plus years.

Aaron stood there, smiling, staring at Robert, eyeing him up. He looked the same, yet different. He looked paler than he remembered, tired, but somehow a spark remained in his eyes. In that moment he couldn't help his heart breaking for him. He remembered himself what it was like to be inside, and he never served anywhere near as much time as Robert had. Still, he smiled, because as bad as it may have been inside, it looked as if his Robert was still in there, unbroken.

"Da." They both looked down to see Seb hiding behind Aaron's leg, curious about what was going on.

"Mate!" Robert cheered as he kneeled down. "You're so big." He said as he looked at his son, their son, and smiled. He hoped against everything that he'd recognize him somehow. "You probably don't remember…" He didn't get a chance to finish what he was saying, Seb ran straight into his arms, and hugged him for everything he was worth.

"Daddy!" Seb cried.

"I made sure he didn't forget you." Aaron watched over them smiling. "Showed him loads of pictures all the time. He always asked about you."

Robert looked back up with tears in his eyes, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. This hadn't been what he expected. He had expected a battle, he had expected to fight for what he loved, to beg for forgiveness, and had accepted that he may have come out with nothing in the end. "I missed you both so much. You're all I thought about."

Aaron smiled fondly, his heart feeling like it could burst with happiness. "How about I get you both inside?" He asked as he nodded back towards the cottage. Robert nodded in response and stood back up, picking up the bag he carried.

Aaron leant down taking Seb into his arms and took Robert's hand I to his own. A feeling all too familiar, one that sent waves of warmth throughout him, took him over and he smiled as he led the way.

"It worked, da." Seb whispered into his ear.

"What worked?" Aaron softly asked in return.

"I ashked Santa to bring daddy home for Christmas." He replied looking accomplished, like this had all been because of him. He had made both his dads happy.

Robert smiled pretending to not have heard their little exchange, and gently squeezed onto Aaron's hand.

~~~~~

Robert was amazed, and countless questions floated through his mind as he sat at the kitchen counter. There was so much left unsaid, there were so many things he wanted to apologize for, felt like he has to, but somehow the old part of him wanted to push it all down, so he settled for his surroundings. The cottage, it was warm, it looked like a home and not just a house, it looked like something he and Aaron would have built together. 

"This...this place is amazing." He spoke, breaking the silence as Aaron effortlessly moved about the kitchen, one that reminded him very much of the one back at the Mill.

"You like it?" Aaron smiled as looked back at Robert over his shoulder. He stood in front of the stove with a spatula in hand.

"I love it." He smiled in return.

"Took me about two years to get it all sorted." Aaron said, looking every bit as accomplished as Seb had looked earlier. "It was kind of a dump when I bought it, did it myself."

"You...this is yours?"

He asked, nearly gasped.

"Ours." Aaron corrected with a smile on his face, only his smile quickly faded. "That is, if you want it to be? I...I'm sorry for just assuming."

"_ You're _sorry? You?" Robert asked incredulously. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm the one that ruined every…."

"Stop." Aaron turned the stove off and turned around to walk closer to where Robert sat. "We...we were dealt a shit hand, Robert."

A loud gasp filled the air making them both turn towards the living room. "Da said chit!" Seb giggled.

"Oi, you get back to your cartoon. Me and your daddy are talking grown up stuff." Aaron pretended to drown at Seb making him quickly turn and sit back down.

"We had a bad hand dealt to us, Rob...no one could have known how things were gonna happen."

"But...I left ya." Robert's voice broke. The hurt I'm it was obvious, Aaron could tell how much it probably killed Robert to have done what he did. "I cut you out, I thought...I thought that if you hated me, maybe it would be easier for you to move on."

"I know why you did what you did, Robert." Aaron cut him off. "I get it...now." He said as he placed a hand to Robert's cheek, his thumb brushing against it. "I spent so much time hating ya, even though I really couldn't, but eventually I got it. I remembered what it was like being in there, and to be honest, I probably would have done the same."

Robert melted into Aaron's hand, his touch being something he had only dreamt of for years. "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay." Aaron's eyes threatened to spill tears yet again. "I mean it, you don't have to apologize for anything. You're here now, and if you still want this, us...then nothing else matters."

"Of course I want this. I told you once, you're it for me, you're all I want, and I still mean it." He turned slightly into Aaron's palm and kissed it. "You and me. Messed up together. Forever."

"Forever." Aaron replied and swallowed past theump in his throat. "So…" He cleared his throat. "Now that's settled, you wanna fill me in on how this happened? You didn't break out or anything did you? Do I need to pack us up so we can make a runner for real this time?" He asked nodding towards Seb.

Robert chuckled, he couldn't help it. He felt like he could laugh and smile for the rest of his life now. "Andy did it."

"Andy?" Aaron asked with surprise. "Andy Andy, as in our Andy?"

Robert smiled, settled into his seat, and began to tell Aaron all about the past couple of months. He'd told him about how Andy showed up, joked about him being married to Annalise Keating, rolled his eyes when Aaron was clueless to his reference, and told him all about the trial. He stopped several times to make sure Aaron was following as he remained in silence through the whole story. Aaron looked at him throughout it all, looked at him the way he used to, made him feel like he'd hung the moon. It was that look that made him fall for him. No one had ever made him feel like he mattered, not until Aaron.

"Kim...Tate?" Aaron asked. "I thought she hated us."

"Yeah, well...looks like me mum and her were friends." Robert smiled. "Looks like even now, mum's still looking out for me."

"And how did she have that?"

"Turns out that when Andy went back to the village, him and Lucy started asking around for anyone that may have seen or heard anything. Kim overheard them asking around and it made her think of all the surveillance that Graham had on us. Fortunately for me, we didn't find all of it, there was a camera right outside the Mill, caught it all in the driveway."

"Remind me to send her a basket or summat." Aaron smiled.

~~~~~~

The sound of birds chirping woke Aaron the following morning and he quickly turned dreading that everything the day before had been only been a dream. For the briefest of moments his stomach dropped just thinking about it, then everything settled when he caught sight of what lay beside him. That beautiful alabaster skin sprinkled with freckles, part of him wanted to reach out, to touch it, run his fingers along all his favorite freckles, but he stopped himself. Like and angel, Robert looked, at rest unlike any he probably had the past three years. He remembers what that's like, being out for the first time after prison. He took the sight in, his eyes running along Robert's exposed back, only stopping when he caught sight of a couple of scars he knew had not been there before. His heart broke. He couldn't imagine how horrible things may have been for him, what things could have been done to him, who may have hurt him, and for a moment he saw red. He'd kill anyone that dared hurt him.

"Hmph." Robert made a sound and quickly settled, pulling Aaron from his thoughts. 

All that mattered was that Robert was back, his family was whole again, he was whole again. He reached for his phone on his bedside table and quickly shot Liv a message, he couldn't believe he had completely forgotten to tell her the night before. His fingers quietly tapped away at the screen and he hit the send button.

_ You'll never believe what happened! He's back. Our Robert is back! Call me when you get this! _

He knew she'd be asleep at the time. Last he heard she had made her way to New York, so he'd be at least a good five hours ahead of her. Gave him plenty of time to settle into the morning before any madness with her began. No doubt she'd be as chuffed about Robert.

Quietly, Aaron got from their bed and got dressed, a pair of shorts and a black tee. Somethings never change. He had nearly been out of their bedroom when it hit him, he turned around and made his way to the dresser, opened the top drawer and dug for something. "There you are." He whispered to himself before leaving the room.

The smell of coffee finally woke Robert, real coffee, his mouth nearly salivating at it. If there was one thing he missed almost as much as Aaron and Seb, it was coffee. His beloved Americanos. He groaned and turned to his side only to find Aaron no longer there with him. He pouted and practically slithered out of bed. As tired as he felt, he still somehow felt more rested than he had in ages. Being alone wasn't something he was really happy with at the moment so he quickly walked into the on suite, shaved, showered, and got dressed in record time.

"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked as he stepped into the living room only to be assaulted by Seb.

"Daddy!" He squealed as he threw himself around one of his legs. "It's Christmas!" He cheered. "We have to open presents!"

"Do we now?" He smiled looking down at Seb. "Only if your dad says it's okay." He looked over to Aaron who stood in the kitchen making breakfast.

"You looked like you needed the rest." Aaron teased, though he really meant it.

"Tell it how it is." Robert feigned offense.

"You know what I mean, idiot." Aaron smiled at him.

"And you, mate. Let go of your dad. He's tired." Aaron said to Send. "Why don't you go grab that special present we just wrapped for your dad, we can start with that one."

Seb's eyes widened with excitement and he nodded in return. He turned and ran for the obnoxiously brightly decorated Christmas's tree, kneeled before it, and looked for the present in question.

"That's a lovely tree." Robert said as he looked at Aaron.

"Don't be a prick." Aaron couldn't help but chuckle.

"You didn't have to get me a gift." Robert sight dropped to the floor. "Not after…wait, when did you even have time to go get me a gift?"

Aaron stopped what he was doing, walked over to Robert, and grabbed his hand before leading him to the living room.

"Here." Seb held out the small box he had helped his dad Aaron wrap only a couple of hours before 

"For me?" Robert smiled down at him.

"Yesh." Seb smiled in return.

"I feel bad." A small frown took over Robert's soft features.

"Why?" Asked Aaron.

"I...I don't have anything for you guys."

"Don't be daft." Aaron nudged him. "Besides, you are the gift. Right, mate?" He turned his eyes to Seb who smiled widely in return.

"I asked Santa to bring you home." He said sheepishly.

Robert swallowed past the lump in his throat, nearly sobbing at their son, that he would be what Seb asked for Christmas was beyond anything he could express. He smiled and took the gift form Seb's tiny hands. "Okay, but why do I have to go first?"

"Cos, we said so, and besides...this gift is sort of for all of us."

"Hm...well how could I say no to that?" Robert obliged and tore into the paper revealing a small wooden box. "What is it?" His eyebrows scrunched.

"Just open the damn box, Robert." Aaron rolled his eyes, impatient as always.

Robert did as he was told. He held the box right in his right hand as his left one lifted the lid, pushing it back until the hinge held it in place. 

"I…Aaron?"

"So?"

"Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure of anything, Robert." He said as he stepped in closer. "Will ya marry me?"

"Third time's a charm, eh?" Robert teased as he nodded his head. A yes. A resounding yes. As if he could ever say no to Aaron.

"Shut up." Aaron pulled him into a kiss. Soft. Full of promise. A promise of forever. A promise they would both tear the world apart to keep.

"Well, how am I supposed to answer if you're telling me to shut up?"

"Robert!"

"You're such a wind-up." Robert smiled, pulling Aaron I to another kiss. "Yes. Yes. A million times yes."

Aaron smiled in return, and Seb Joe's up and down with excitement. His family was whole again. He couldn't really remember from before, but the faintest of memories told him they were happy, and now he knew they would be that again.

His dad Aaron was smiling in a way he didn't remember seeing, and his daddy Robert was finally home, where he belonged.

"You and me. Messed up together. Forever." Aaron's voice was raspy, yet laced with so much happiness.

Robert beamed a smile. For a dark as the past years had been, he had arrived at the end of the tunnel, to the light, his light. Aaron. He replied what he always wanted with him. What he had dreamt of having with him since he realized he was the one 

"Forever."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please feel free to leave me comments, ideas, suggestions. Love seeing what you guys think of the stories.


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